Did you ever wish you could just lounge along the streets and shopping malls of Manila on a weekday, while everybody else is busy at work and/or school? Well, this is what we did. On a Friday. In the Metro. :)


I've always wanted to go back to Mc Donald's Eastwood (along C5 road) for breakfast. Being there on a sunny morning brings me back to our out of town trips. Just chilling, planning on the day ahead. Drinking coffee. What a way to start the morning.






Matt behind the wheels



The author on the passenger seat

 

Poinsettias along Ayala Avenue, Makati City

- - - current mode: nega, rebel, hater bitch - - - 

Have you ever felt so low and you feel like you've nowhere to turn or to run to? And you've been daydreaming of how to commit suicide? Which is the fastest and has a lesser pain way of doing it. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, I sound like a typical rebellious, immature, virgin teenage kid. And it's so not funny.


People usually say, creative people are more prone to breaking down. They're more attached to their emotions, which explains why most writers and great artists commit suicide. I'm no great artist, nor a good writer. But my creativity is my bread and butter. And, I too, have this suicidal urge when I feel like my life's overwhelmingly tough. I breakdown. I cry. I shout and scream. I curse. I hate everyone around me, and most especially myself.

- - - current mode: still a bit lost  - - - 


Pardon me for writing these all down. 


Forgive me, Lord for even thinking this way. I just had to release it. 


I want to shake this fuckin' negativity off! 


- - - current mode: blank  - - - 

"If you care about what other people think, you will always be their prisoner." - James Frey

To all the Presidentiables, I hope this reaches you. "Do not promise the public to resolve poverty and corruption. You are promising them a life lived only in paradise. We must all know better."


What I think the Filipinos need is to stop depending too much on the government. We should all learn to stand up on our own and be our own leader. Each one of us. We should start patronizing our own. And we should begin that now. We used to be the ones being looked up to because we are rich in natural resources and our products and skills are internationally competitive. Now, even Korea has surpassed us. We are always last (if not second or third to the last) on the list (except maybe for boxing, thanks to Manny Pacquiao). The only list we're ahead on others is the list of the top most poor countries. We are ashamed but we're not doing anything about it. Koreans and Japanese are very nationalistic people. I guess that's the reason why they are much wealthier than us now. They always, as much as possible, buy things made from their country. Now, that's impressive. I am not a hypocrite and I won't tell you that I don't like buying imported things. Which is actually the problem. We all think that way. We think goods and products made from other countries have much better quality. We want all our stuff "signatured" or "branded". Have you ever gone to any department store lately and looked for umbrellas made in the Philippines? Well, tough luck if you found one, because all of the products in the market are made from either US, Japan, Korea, China... any country other than Philippines. And we blame the government? Korea had three presidents imprisoned because of corruption. But they're not suffering as much as most Filipinos do. I say, we should be the ones to blame. You. Me. Him. Her. They. It's no yet too late though. We still have time. Patronize and love your own. Because no one else will help us but our fellow Filipinos too.

I never saw it coming. No one ever did. Nonchalantly, I gave in. With your flawless speech and almost real sincerity, we all gave in. Our trust, belief and support, you collected. Without us knowing your hidden agendas. Until numerous citizens came up, disseminating your devilish acts. We didn't want to believe at first, but the countless complaints proved us wrong. You are not what you seem to be. And it's such a big shame for us all.

Celebrated my 27th birthday yesterday, 13th of December. Treated my family out for a Sunday lunch, together with my boyfriend, Matthew at Lamesa Grill in Trinoma, Then, Matt and I attended another birthday celebration. Apparently, it's my inaanak, "baby maeko's" 1st birthday. So, we joined the games, saw Grimace and McDo danced to the undying tune of "Nobody" by the Wonder Girls, and, again ate our hearts out. We attended the mass afterwards, together with my best buds Jacky and Macky at the Greenbelt chapel. Then, off to Mexicali, we had dinner, then Starbucks. wow! I know, it's quite a whole day of celebration!

Macky asked me what to wish for this year. I paused, and thought to myself, my day has been so busy with the greetings and the celebrations that I haven't really thought of what to wish for. 'Till I come up with the list in my head continuously. First, I wished for a fruitful and zestful career this year. Hope to find a job that is perfect for me, finally. That I wouldn't ask for anything else anymore. Second, that I could spend more time with my family, and that my dad's business would grew so that my eldest brother Jason won't have to work abroad anymore. Third, that my band Flavours and Caffeine could finally work on and release our first album this year. Fourth, for my relationship with Matt to continuously grew stronger and even happier. Fifth, that my friends who are dear to me, wouldn't change and still be there for me. Sixth, to have a peaceful elections on 2010. And the list goes on. I would have wanted to wish for some more, but was running out of time and my special day will soon end. So there. That's pretty much all. I am just so thankful to GOD that I am where, who, and what I am now. I feel so blessed with all the love I receive from the people close to me. And for all the other bonus blessings GOD has been showering me. I thank thee. For all those who wished me to have a good year ahead, thank you, but I think I'll have an amazing year to look forward to.

A few years back, not so long ago, heaven and earth erupted into a major celebration with the news of your impending adventure into this very time and space. You see, someone like Ma. Christina Roxas doesn't come along all that often. In fact, there's never been a single one like you, nor is there ever ANY possibility that another will come again. You're an Angel among us. Someone, whose eyes see what no others will EVER see, whose ears hear what no others will EVER hear, and whose perspective and feelings will NEVER, ever be duplicated. Without YOU, the Universe, and ALL THAT IS, would be sadly less than it is.

Quite simply:

You're the kind of person, Ma. Christina,
Who's hard to forget,
A one-in-a-million
To the people you've met.
Your friends are as varied
As the places you go,
And they all want to tell you
In case you don't know:
That you make a big difference
In the lives that you touch,
By taking so little
And giving so much!

Ma. Christina, you are so AWESOME! For your birthday, friends and angels from every corner of the Universe, including buddies you didn't know you had, will be with you to wish you the HAPPIEST of days and an exciting new year in time and space. You won't be alone!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Ma. Christina!

On Sunday, December 13, 2009, I'll be turning 27. Yes, time does fly. Three more years, and I'll be 30, then, I'll have to write another blog stating my fulfillments and my goals. Life is really short. Before you know it, you've only got a few more years to look forward to. So, I ask myself and tried to look back, have I achieved my dreams yet? Have I learned from the past mistakes and faults I've committed? Do I act like a normal lady in their late 20's do? And most importantly, am I happy the way I am now?

Since I was a kid, I've always tend to analyze people and why they do what they do. Psychology is actually one of my favorite subjects in college, to the point that I even thought of shifting to Psych course. Now, that's a different story. As a kid, I've always been curious and observant of other people's actions and what usually causes their emotions. What triggers their anger, their happiness, their laughter, especially their sadness. I remember posting here at blogspot about depression. Whether I'm experiencing it at the moment, or was I just so into the book I was reading then (Veronika decides to die by Paulo Coelho). I often get depressed and I wonder what's there to be depressed about. I have almost everything I could ever ask for. I've been in and out of different companies, because I always seek for something. I can't find contentment. I've been in a serious relationship for seven years which still failed. I've had heartaches, pain, fear, grief. But I didn't realize we all do. We all have, in one way or another, experienced failures and hardships in life. And these actually are the ones which makes life even sweeter. Now, I'm turning 27. Only a few days left for the 26-year old me. And I tell myself, answering my own questions. A lot has changed since then. My dreams, somewhat fulfilled, but still working on bigger dreams to be fulfilled. My faults and mistakes, it's been hard but the lessons learned are so worth it and if I have to go back and re-live my life, i'd commit the same mistakes again. They're a big factor of why I am who I am today. How do normal people in their late 20's act? I'm not quite sure about that, but I should give myself credit for doing a good job at it. Act and decide like a mature person if necessary without forgetting to have fun and embrace life and its many challenges. Am I happy? The word "happy" is a bit vague for what I'm feeling right now. Let's just say, for now, I feel blessed for all that's happened to me, and for all the people around me. And I owe it all to GOD. My strength. Thank you for giving me another year to live. More challenges, more responsibilities, more adventures to face. And I'm proud to say, I'm Ready.