Flawed
"I maybe a toughie but I've got some issues too. I maybe an obsessive compulsive freak and a perfectionist, but I have lots of flaws hidden. And it ain't pretty."
Been through a self-reflection and self-analysis last night. And I came up with the conclusion that I have anger management issues. I told you it ain't pretty. It's normal to feel angry whenever you feel defeated or when someone messes with you or your loved ones. But mine's a bit too much. I feel I over-react sometimes and always find myself (being the war freak that I am) starting a fight. A verbal battle, that is. Okay, and maybe a lift of the middle finger... if a stranger pisses me off. Like, one time, my mom and I were in a public restroom and a girl cut in line when it's actually my mom's turn. My mom just smiled, embarrassed. And I was furious. So, before the girl could even close the door, I blocked the door with my hand. I can see her face shocked staring at me, and said "Bakit?" Then I said, with a straight face and one eyebrow up, "Nauna sya,ah. Nakapila sya." The tone of my voice was dead serious as if I'm ready to slam her face into the door if ever she ignores me. The girl immediately said sorry and was utterly humiliated. Yes, I am the don't-mess-with-me-or-you'll-see-the-monster-in-me type. People usually see the good, shy, sweet and thoughtful side of me. Only a few has seen the fuc**n' bi@tch side. Did I mention it ain't pretty?
This is my first step. To know and accept the fact that I have issues. Second step would be, to control myself. I know it's not as easy as it seems, but I will try my best to achieve the person I want to be. Third step would be to maintain my control and learn to be passive sometimes. Matt said, it's okay to be a toughie that you are, just choose your battles. So, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna let the small-petty-irritating things pass. Patience, darling, is a virtue. But I'll unleash my bi@tch side when i really need to, and it ain't gonna be pretty...
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